CTHULHU MYTHOS SONGBOOK

Campfire Songs of the Elder Gods

collected by Illoigor Stravinski

Alhazred of Araby

(Tune: The Sheik of Araby)

I’m Alhazred of Araby.

The Elder Gods talk to me.

At night, at night when I’m asleep

Into my thoughts They creep.

A fungus-critter from Yuggoth

Is coming soon to drag me off.

He has a shiny cylinder for me.

I’m Alhazred of Araby.

The Battle Hymn of the Eschaton

(Tune: Battle Hymn of the Republic)

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the rising of R’llyeh.

I have seen its crooked angles tow’ring high above the bay.

I have seen the Elder Gods arise to drag us all away.

Cthulhu’s slithering on!

Glory, glory Kali-Yuga!

Cthulhu’s slithering on.

Rot my Soul (in the Bosom Cthulhu)

(Tune: Rock My Soul in the Bosom of Abraham)

So foul, you can’t get over it,

So rotten, you can’t get under it,

So repulsive, you can’t get around it.

Oh, rot my soul!

Rot my soul in the bosom of Cthulhu,

Oh, rot my soul.

The Lair of Great Cthulhu

(Tune: Chatanooga Choo-Choo)

Pardon me boy –

Is this the lair of Great Cthulhu?

In the city of slime,

Where it is night all the time.

Bob Hope never went

Along the road to Great Cthulhu,

And Triple-A has no maps,

And all the Cho-chos lay trpas.

You’ll see an ancient sunken city where the angles are wrong.

You’ll see the fourth dimension if you’re there very long.

Come to the conventicle.

Bring along your pentacle;

Otherwise you’ll be dragged off by a tentacle.

A mountain’s in the middle, with a house on the peak;

A gnashin’ and a thrashin’ and a clackin’ of beak.

Your soul you will be lackin’

When you see that mighty kraken.

Oo-oo! Great Cthulhu’s starting to speak.

So come on aboard,

Along the road to Great Cthulhu.

Wen-di’-gos and Dhols

Will make Big Macs of our souls.

Under the sea,

Down in the ancient city of R’llyeh,

In the lair of Great Cthulhu,

They’ll suck your soul away!

(Great Cthulhu, Great Cthulhu –

Suck your soul! –

Great Cthulhu, Great Cthulhu)

In the lair of Great Cthulhu,

They’ll suck your soul away.

(Here, there is an obliggato saxaphone solo, a-la Tex Beneke)

Old R’llyeh

(Tune: Bali Hai)

Old R’llyeh is a-calling

From the land beneath the Sea.

"Here am I, your sunken city.

Come to me, come to me."

To the mountain in the ocean,

They will drag you away,

To the house of Great Cthulhu,

That is where you shall stay.

Your own special ooze,

Your own special slime.

You’ll rot ‘neath the waves

‘Till the end of time.

From the cracks between dimensions,

Past the star at the pole,

They have come to rule the cosmos;

They have come to eat your soul.

In old R’llyeh, old R’lyeh, old R’lyeh.

On the Road to Old R’lyeh

(Tune: Road to Mandalay)

On the road to old R’lyeh,

Where the sunken city lay,

They will eat your soul for breakfast

If you pause along the way.

On the road to old R’lyeh

Where the sharks and kraken play,

Great Cthulhu’s dead as a mackeral,

And we hope He stays that way.

Twelve Gates has the City of R’lyeh

(Tune: Twelve Gates has the City)

Oh, what an odious city,

Oh, what a hideous city,

Oh, what a disgusting city.

Twelve gates has the city of R’lyeh.

Beyond the Secret Planet

(Tune: Beyond the Blue Horizon)

Beyond the secret planet

Lies a new dimension.

Goodbye to scenes that bore me;

Shoggoths are coming for me.

They’ll stuff my brain in a cylinder,

And then the journey’s begun.

Beyond the secret planet

Lies the Eschaton.

I’ve Got a Loverly Bunch of Cylinders

(Tune: I’ve Got a Loverly Bunch of Cocanuts)

I’ve got a loverly bunch of cylinders

There they are, all standin’ on the shelf.

Big ones, small ones, some as big as your ‘ead.

Give ‘em a twist, a flick of the wrist;

Plug ‘em into the speaking machine.

I’ve got a loverly bunch of cylinders;

Every bloomin’ one’ll ‘elp your ‘ealth.

‘Ere comes me shuggoth, ‘e wants to cut me bean off.

‘E wants to stuff me in a can meself.

Singin’ stuff-a stuff me brain into a can.

Stuff-a-stuff me brain into a can.

Stuff-a-stuff me brain,

Singin’ stuff-a-stuff me brain into a can.

Ta-Ra-Ra Boom-Di-Ay

(Tune: same)

Come and see the Elder Gods,

A bunch of giant cephalopods.

Listen while Cthulhu speaks,

And the others clack their beaks.

Ta-ra-ra boom-di-ay!

They’re rising from the bay.

They’ll drag us to R’lyeh.

They’ll suck our souls away.

Ta-ra-ra boom-di-ay!

It’s Ragnarok today.

Amenta’s right this way.

Ta-ra-ra boom-di-ay!

Danny Boy

(Tune: same)

O Danny Boy, the sunken city’s rising;

I see it tow’ring high above the bay.

O Danny Boy, the Gods, the Gods are calling;

They’ve come to drag us all to R’lyeh.

O Danny Boy, the cracks between dimensions

Are yawning wide; the great lloigor have come.

O Danny Boy, the Elder Gods are rising.

The Elder Gods have come to bring the Eschaton.

Just You Wait, ‘Enry Aikley

(Tune: Just You Wait, ‘Enry ‘Iggins)

Just you wait, ‘Enry Aikley, just you wait.

There’s a fungus critter scuttlin’ through the gate.

‘E ‘as come to drag you off

To the planet of Yuggoth.

Just you wait, ‘Enry Aikley, just you wait.

Wait an’ see, ‘Enry Aikley, wait an’ see;

You’ll receive the starry wisdom presently.

An’ if you pay close attention

You can see the fourth dimension.

Wait an’ see, ‘Enry Aikley, wait an’ see.

Oo-oo, ‘Enry Aikley

When they’ve gone an’ stuffed your brain into a can.

Oo-oo, ‘Enry Aikley

You can ‘ave a nice long chat wif’ Erich Zann.

An’ when you crack an’ start to scream,

They’ll unplug your speech machine.

Oh-ho-ho! ‘Enry Aikley

Off you go, ‘Enry Aikley.

Just you wait!

Those Were the Gods

(Tune: Those Were the Days)

Once upon a time there was a city,

Sunk beneath the sea so long ago.

The Ancient Ones lie sleeping in that city;

They dream what we were never meant to know.

Those were the Gods, my friend.

We thought They’d never end;

They’d clack Their beaks forever and a day.

They’d drag us down to R’lyeh;

They’d suck our souls away.

Those were the Gods, oy veh! Those were the Gods.

High atop a mountain in the city,

High upon a mountain in the sea

In a house of crooked angles in that city,

Great Cthulhu sleeps and dreams of thee.

Last night I had a vision of that city;

I saw it tow’ring high above the Bay.

We’d all become a suburb of the city;

Oakland had become East R’llyeh (oy veh!)

Green Beak

(Tune: Greensleeves)

Behold the priest of the Elder Race

With tentacles writing about His face.

Oh, hear the great voice as He starts to speak

With a hideous clack of His green beak.

Green Beak sucked my soul from me

As the tentacles dragged me down under the sea.

Lowly mortals do gasp and shriek

At the hideous clack of the green beak.

From His house in the city of R’lyeh

Cthulhu broadcasts His thoughts today.

The great city surely shall rise from the sea

And the Ancient Ones once more be free.

The stars, they wheel; the stars, they spin;

The stars come into alignment again.

The cyclopean city tow’rs into the sky

With its walls dripping slime and its angles awry.

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